nishlo:

tukut:

ur mom hands u a glass of orange juice. u take a sip. its not orange juice. its stirred egg yolks. u spit them all out. u ask ur mom why. she turns around. its not ur mom. its me. ur mom is gone. im ur mother now

these old spice commercials have been getting really crazy lately 

lztybrn:

remember way back in 2006 when the wii first came out and then the entirety of the world forgot how to hold onto something with a firm grasp so much that nintendo had to make a shock absorbing condom just so that tvs wouldnt get destroyed when people would end up sending this thing flying at their tvs at 900 miles per hour

School: no shoulder-revealing shirts
Student: why?
School: you might ferociously anal fist each other in the hallway

yes-im-a-demigod:

lalalalane:

youareyoubutwhoareyou:

itissilent:

vintagefreshman:

DEAR PEOPLE WHO MADE “THE GIVER” MOVIE:

THERE ARE NO FUCKING HOVERCRAFTS IN THE BOOK

NO HOVERCRAFTS ABDUCT JONAS IN THE BOOK

JONAS AND FIONA DO NOT FALL IN LOVE IN THE BOOK

THE INJECTIONS ARE PILLS IN THE BOOK

JUST

PLEASE

JONAS IS TWELVE IN THE BOOK.

I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THAT BADLY

*Percy Jackson fans laughing in the distance*

redblooperstuff:

greteh:

gallifrey-feels:

halosblogthing:

blackfoxnightmare:

uninhibitedandunrepentant:

that-slenderman:

yumegawa:

The child wakes up, expecting to see a familiar face of terror before him, but what he sees is a white emptiness, gently carrying him away from the burning house.

It wasn’t the face of a monster, unlike the one in his home; who leave its painful marks on his fragile body, who hurt his mom until she died of grief, and unable to help him… no it was pale white, eyeless but he find it comforting.

“Just like those dummies in the mall where mom used to take me to…” he thought. 

He held tightly on his ghostly savior, and close his eyes to sleep in his arms, as he was taken far away from his burning home, from the monster, and into the forest.  

#he comes for the children #he’ll fucking kill anyone who will abuse a child

Tumblr, turning a terrifying urban legend into a misunderstood saviour.

OH I LIKE THIS MUCH BETTER

so let me get this straight

if Slender Man is a good guy who goes after child abusers and child molesters

IN SLENDER YOU ARE THE MONSTER

HE IS THE HERO AND YOU ARE THE DEMON HE’S HUNTING DOWN TO SAVE A CHILD

A CHILD WHO PROBABLY FEARS HIM AND DREW THOSE NOTES THAT BLEW AWAY IN THE WIND AND GOT STUCK ON TREES AND YOU HUNT HIM DOWN LIKE THE SCUM YOU ARE AND SLENDY SAVES THE DAY

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

THAT’S WHY YOU CAN’T WIN

AND WHY THE NOTES SAY THOSE THINGS

LIKE TO GO AWAY

YES THIS IS GOOD

official-kido-tsubomi:

he is so shocked

thecultofcraze:

amoureuux:

oh

That’s okay, I didn’t need my heart.

the-groundskeeper:

the-groundskeeper:

what i did in graphic design class today is

this has 70,200 notes and you’re all fucking dead to me

thattallsummonerguy:

aragorn1379:

ginjaninja3716:

commandereyebrows:

chachipistachis:

theamericankid:

Tumblr needs more of this….whatever this is.

Is this the same artist who made the original for this

image

how women actually are

OH MY GOD IF I DON’T EVER REBLOG THIS IT’S PROBABLY BECAUSE I’M DEAD

mother fuckin macys sale

My moms name is Doris

katzmatt:

co-ver:

Video games are great, they let you try your craziest fantasies. For example, on the sims, you can have a job and a house

In skyrim you can eat 100 cheese wheels in under a minute